Category Archive

The UVA Football team is headed to the Chick-Fil-A Bowl to celebrate their impressive football season with chicken biscuits and cows that can’t spell. But before that, let’s take a look back at this historic season:

Sep 3: William & Mary (W 40-3)
RB Kevin Parks has a few too many red bulls before the game, rushes for 114 yards and 3 touchdowns

Sep 10: at Indiana W (34-31)
UVA wins despite the entire team having the the song “Goin’ Back to Indiana” stuck in their heads for 5 straight days before the game

Sep 17: at North Carolina (L 17-28)
UVA is humbled by losing to a football team that wears powder blue uniforms

Sep 24: Southern Miss (L 24-30)
UVA loses because they accidentally prepared to play Ole Miss

Oct 1: Idaho (W 21-20)
Mike London admits letting the game to into overtime because he thought he’d be paid overtime

Oct 15: (12) Georgia Tech W (24-21)
In a team meeting before the game, the Cavs unanimously vote that they should beat the #12 team in the country

Oct 22: North Carolina State (L 14-28)
UVA gives the ball up to NC State four times, saying they don’t want to be part of the 1%

Oct 27: at Miami (FL) (W 28-21)
UVA gets help from the engineering department in setting up a fake field goal, using holograms, mirrors, and a trap door on the 40 yard line

Nov 5: at Maryland (W 31-13)
Mike London wins the game, then blogs abouts about how delicious Maryland crabcakes are

Nov 12: Duke (W 31-21)
UVA jumps out to an early lead when Duke keeps trying to dribble and shoot the football

Nov 19: at (23) Florida State (W 14-13)
Mike London solidifies his spot as ACC Coach of the Year, UVA Big Man on Campus, and Charlottesville Idol

Nov 26: (6) Virginia Tech (L 0-38)
[Error: file not found - This game has been deleted from the memory of local football fans]

On Saturday, the Virginia and Virginia Tech football teams will play a historic game, in which the winner will play in the ACC Championship.  But this is more than just one game.

Here is what’s on the line for Saturday’s game:

• The winner will be crowned Champion of the ACC Coastal Division (despite being at least 150 miles from coast)
• The truck drivers along I-81 between Blacksburg and Charlottesville will be reminded of football greatness as they are driving 45 mph uphill in the passing lane
• The winner gets a Dr Pepper patch sewn into their uniform for the Dr Pepper ACC Championship Game against Clemson
• Alumni who are programming super computers to assist with heart transplants will get to brag about a football score
• The winner will get the “Commonwealth Cup”, a trophy shaped like a Virginia Slim cigarette
• If UVA wins, the signs in Southwest Virginia will be changed from “Virginia’s Technology Corridor” to “Virginia’s Football Loser Corridor”.
• If Tech wins, the pillars of the Rotunda will be painted maroon and orange.
• Thousands of high schoolers will decide their education based on which students excel at throwing an oblong rubber ball

The UVA Football team is 2-0, and off to their best start since 2005.  Coach Mike London seemed as surprised as anyone, prompting an odd but excited pep talk.

“You know that thing where we won last week?” London said to his team at practice on Wednesday.  “Yes, let’s do that again!  That was awesome!”

Coach London attributes last week’s win to UVA scoring more points than their opponent.  Sources close to the football team say that London is forming this week’s entire game plan around this strategy.

London’s new tactic, which he codenamed “winning” (an idea he got from Charlie Sheen), has a two-part plan.  First, he wants to score some points on offense.  And second, he wants to do that other one where the opposing team scores few to no points.

“I don’t want to tip my hand and just give them our playbook,” London said of Saturday’s match up against UNC.  “But let’s just say we want to win by the end of the 4th quarter.”

Will Coach London’s new strategy work?  Find out Saturday as UNC hosts the ‘Hoos at 3:30 on ESPNU.

The UVA baseball team won their Super Regional tournament this weekend, propelling them to the College World Series.  But before they head to Omaha, let’s take a look back at some of the highlights (and lowlights) of the UVA baseball season.

March 2nd
Coach O’Connor takes the entire team to the bounce n’ play.

March 13th
Left fielder John Barr catches a fly ball in his teeth.

March 29th
Will Roberts solves Fermat’s Last Theorem, while pitching a perfect game.

April 6th
Team scrimmages the UVA football team and wins by 2 touchdowns.

April 9th
Catcher John Hicks accidentally calls Coach O’Connor “Mom”.

April 24th
Shortstop Chris Taylor steals second, third, and the opposing pitcher’s wallet, all in one inning.

May 13th
Pitcher Danny Hultzen embarrassingly throws a screaming fastball instead of a blazing fastball.

May 25th
Team proves that the opposing pitcher is, in fact, a belly-itcher.

June 13th
UVA summons some serious mojo for a 9th inning win to propel them to the college world series.

Good luck to the UVA baseball team at the College World Series.  We’ll be cheering for you from home in C’ville!